Overcoming Bereavement

Exactly two years to this date, the 27th February 2021, I lost my mother suddenly and without warning. What made it challenging was that when it happened I wasn't there. Something I never imagined would ever happen to me. Mum was always there for me and the least I could have done was to have been there fo her. Besides that, there were so many things I wanted to do with her and for her, but all those plans came to an abrupt halt.

When I was told mum passed away, everything as I knew it stopped and my thoughts began to run riot. I thought to myself, " Is this a joke?" Mum was just smiling the other day, looking like her usual self. "How could this happen?"

Next thing I know, I felt a flood of overwhelming emotion flow through me. My eyelids became weighted with the build-up of warm tears about to force itself through my eyes. I slumped to the floor, devoid of energy, feeling helpless as warm tears flowed freely down my cheeks.

Then I heard a strange sound escaping through my lips. It felt alien to me, like it was coming from someone else. The sound turned into an uncontrollable high pitched cry that would last for hours because I couldn't seem to make it stop.

In between this strange happenings, I started feeling angry, but my anger was never directed at God. It was personal, because despite what was going on, I had the underlying awareness that she had gone home to be with the Lord. My struggle and my challenge was about me letting go. It was about me having closure and that part was apparent to me.

I hadn't been in this situation before, so I did what I had always done when I needed a solution to something. I prayed about it and read my Bible. I began reading scriptures related to bereavement and started to find out how to deal with my grief. I saw how the Israelites mourned the loss of their leader Moses for,

‘Thirty days, then the days of weeping and mourning for Moses came to an end.’
Deuteronomy 34:8

This knowledge gave me the ability to grieve properly without inhibitions. It also made me comfortable to talk freely through my grief and even document my grief journey. Seeing how the Israelites grieved, for Moses for a period of time, gave me solace to mourn mum's loss, knowing that after a period of time (just like the Israelites), I too would be fine.

In exploring my grief, no emotion was too obscure. I allowed myself to work through my emotions and over time, I found myself in a better place or shall I say, a better space. Better, because now, I can think of mum without sadness (on most days), partly due to the legacy she left behind. That legacy, lives on in my household and in the lives of those she impacted.

That said, I must admit, there are still days when someone would say something or something would happen that would trigger memories of her. Memories that reminds me of the void she left behind. But that's okay, because I can remind myself that we will one day meet again in eternity and will never part again.

The Bible says this about death:

'None of us can hold back our spirit from departing. None of us has the power to prevent the day of our death. There is no escaping that obligation, that dark battle.'
Ecclesiastes 8:8 — New Living Translation (NLT)

Meaning that death is inevitable, it is a battle we all have to face and it can be a dark experience. However, when you:

'Pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.' (Psalm 62:8)

He will give us the grace to face, endure and overcome it. For those who died believing in Christ, they overcome death by living on in eternity. And for the loved ones they left behind, the Bible says, this:

'Blessed are those who mourn,
For they shall be comforted.'
Matthew 5:4 — The New King James Version (NKJV)

So, take heart if you are grieving the loss of a loved one, especially on days when you struggle to hold back the tears. And Let these words comfort you:

"...Weeping may last through the night,
but joy comes with the morning."
Psalm 30:5 — New Living Translation (NLT)

Which means, you will eventually overcome it and find your footing in life again.

Mum doing one of her favourite things, dancing the night away!

'To live is Christ and to die is gain.'
Philippians 1:21

I'll leave you with this uplifting song, 'Plain Sight' by artist Sinmidele. It's one song that never fails to lift up my spirit. Hope it resonates with you too.